You will do this

You will do this. It might not always feel as though you can, or should have to, but you will.

You will get up night after night. Even though you’re exhausted. Even though you feel broken. Even though it’s only been an hour since the last waking. You will do this.

You will obsess over naps 

Literally obsess. Even though you used to be so laid back and you slightly judged others before you for acting this way. You will do this, because your baby’s sleep is sacred and, sadly, the centre of your actual world.

So you will do this… you will rock your baby even though your back is aching and your arms are sore. You will do this because you’ll do anything to stop those tears from teething.

You will do this… unplug the doorbell, whisper instead of speak, eat your takeaway over your baby’s sleeping head. You will do this because you can’t bear to risk her waking again… and she is really, honestly, quite frightening. 

You will do this... you will cry. From exhaustion, from pain, from desperation. You will wonder why nobody told you it could be so hard while knowing these highs and lows are near impossible to understand until you experience them yourself.

You will do this, too… laugh. You will laugh out loud at the hilarious faces your little one pulls, you will laugh with delight as she giggles and you will laugh with pure contentment at the shared happiness your baby brings.

You will sleep -- yes really. You will do this again one day, properly. So hold on, Mama, this tiredness won’t be forever.

You will do this… you will beg. Beg your baby to nap, beg your partner to do the night shift, beg yourself to keep going. But you will do this, that’s the thing. You will do it because you’re now made of steely stuff, and all of this love you feel has made you stronger. 

You will do this, too. You will be late for things… because of nappy leaks, unscheduled feeds, unexplained cries, the fact that your clothes are stained with baby sick. It’s ok. Be late, take a breath. It's understandable -- and temporary.

You will do this… you will feel a connection so deep it makes you look back and wonder how you could ever not have known each other. 

You will do this: try and fail to cook dinner, have the quickest shower known to humanity, sing a favourite lullaby again and again… at 3 a.m… while it feels like everyone but the two of you are asleep.
You will do this, you will keep going, you won’t stop -- even when you want to.

You will wobble, you will lose patience, you will have regrets – you will do all of this. But then they will smile, right into your eyes and your heart will fill up. They will show you that you are all they need. They will do this, so you will too. 

You will do this. You will wonder if you are cut out for this, everyone does. You will marvel at the miracle you’ve made while wishing for a break so you can rest your weary mind and body. 

You will do this… because you can, because you have to and because there is nobody better to care for this baby of yours. 

You WILL do this -- every day, every night. Not because it’s easy, because your two hearts now beat together, and these times, as hard as they can be, only deepen your connection.

You will do this: the beautiful bits, the hard bits, the exhausting bits. You will do it all, and you will be loved for it… forever.

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